Cigarettes, Arnold Palmer, and Weeeeeeed

Okay so I dont know if I told you all this but I was grounded on Saturday because of my basically failing grade in Govt. class. And we are currently on break. We were supposed to go to Vermont this weekend but my great uncle Ken died. I didnt know him that well but he was a cool dude. Fought in WWII. So anyway. My Uncle came up for the funeral and I didnt want to go to the wake so I stayed home.

Heres where it gets fun. As soon as my parents left my best friend and basically my other half Megan picked me up. We went out got cigarettes, and I got a 'lite' Arnold Palmer Iced Tea then we went out to meet Megan's boyfriend and boy oh boy we smoked a fat blunt. Got home, and now am waiting for my parents to get home. My Dad gave me $20 for dinner, with that I got a pack of Marb reds, and threw in for a nice blunt. Got $5 for change. Im going to tell him I got a Cluckin Russian, the Iced Tea, and maybe a cupcake :]

I make such good plans.

Heres what I ate today.
Water(0)
Coffee(25)
Iced tea(150)
cigarettes (0)

Oh and I got Chess to come to my house(just turn around in my driveway) so that I could hear/see his car that he is so proud of lol hes silly. Im so tired though we were up till like2am talking on the phone :]

I also need to get up at like 7am tomorrow to go to the mass then lunch for ken. Should be well dont really want to say fun but whatever

Thin Dreams <3
p.s. I dont know who posted that originally but thanks lol

Hey. You should read this post. Its about the worst 2 weeks ever.

lol jk. Im high. but thats not the point. The point is Im fat. 107.0Lbs. I went to the doctor a few days ago for my regular physical. I had been drinking alot of water that day and when the nurse asked me what I though I would weigh I called it perfectly. 107.0lbs. Ew. muther fucking ew. Ive seen my self in the mirror and its not nice.....

I should really start from the beginning.
Alright. So it started with Chess. His birthday is on Valentines day. It was the perfect excuse to make him his favorite cake(cheese cake) and give him it :] It was going to be perfect. But its also my Dads favorite cake, and he was really upset when he found out that it wasnt for him(I couldnt tell him who its really for, he hasnt liked Chess since we broke up) So I ended up giving chess one really big piece instead of the whole cake, and the rest was for my family. So I had this huge home made delicious Cheesecake and I ate at least 1/2 of that cake. No joke.

My mom also made Creme brulee, so there were nights I was eating both at the same time. I was eating them for breakfast lunch and dinner. I was also making myself Grilled Cheeses every other meal. And all the snacking I did.

AND THE PLAY! I had the Drama play and because we were staying late to work on that I was eating lots of unhealthy foods. At the after party I went downstairs to get a snack(I was really really high so I was eating allllooott) Marcus's(we were at his house for the party and I was supposed to sleep over) mother said "yes eat! Adrienne eat! you are too thin" then Mr. Krass(drama club director) said "yes she go very thin" Im like WTF?? all the adults were commenting on my weight!! UGH

TL;DR I ate alot of food. Super fat. Ewewew

I have a plan!

plan for tonight?
Get high. Eat food. Feel bad.

wow...I cant believe I got my heart broken

yes this post is about Chess. If you want to skip the whining then skip to the 3rd paragraph...
I really have only ever had 3people I am truly emotionally attached to, ya know mom, dad and Gram. I mean...my friends are important to me but they are going to leave eventually, so in my head they arent permanent. Ive never had permanent friends, I moved around so much when I was little I learned that you have to say goodbye to people and thats the end of it.

I've always sortof prided myself on the fact that I could move on so quickly from fights and people or whatever. I know this is my like 15th whiny post about this kid but this is the only place that I can talk to...anyway...I only really new this kid for about 7months! and somehow he worked his way into my head and changed me. When I see him in the hallways I know I should be with him but Im not cause I fucked it up. And all that bullshit about flaws are what make him blah blah blah. Fuck his flaws, they are still going to annoy the fuck out of me. But I know now how happy he made me :[ after its way to late...


Alright to I wore my easytone sneakers to school and people were like WTF?? I mean...theyre just sneakers. But we had Play Practice today and I tried to walk as much as possible back stage. My legs are all numb cause I stood for about 5hrs straight. I really didnt eat much today at all.

1 1/2 cups Chili
1/2 sandwich(bread, balsamic, chicken cutlet, provolone cheese)
2 diet pepsi

That is it :D It was homemade Chili so it was healthier then usual. Tomatoes, beef, celery, onions, beans. Gooood stuff. The sandwich was the second half to my friends sandwich, she offered it to me and well I wanted it. plus it was the small half. well when Im upset I dont want to eat much.

BTW by black eye got 1000X worse hahah it got alot darker. Thanks too! Oh and I love to hug my mom, were a really huggy family. It always makes me feel better to get a hug from my momma :D

Black eye..

So I gave myself a black eye...the picture made it really lite and its gotten alot worse over night. lol I think its kindof funny Im not going to cover it up wither ;]

My parents are really oblivious to how little I eat. They ask me everyday if Im gonna eat lunch and I say "nah not right now" and they just assume I eat. haha what a joke. I can however feel my mom purposely rubbing my ribs to see how skinny I am I weighed 103.0 today :D and I feel pretty good. I played on my wii fit for an hour or so (mostly jogging)

Ive been trying to talk to Chess more and more understandably he doesnt really talk to me but :/ sigh Im sure this will all work out :[

think thin girls