Water!! Water!! Water!!

I drank water 90% of the day :] it was yummy and filling! haha I only ate dinner today, I hadn't realized that I hadn't eaten till 8:00pm when my Dad got home and yelled "DINNER!!" up the stairs at me :] When I got down to the kitchen, my Mom had cooked chicken in a green curry sauce, rice, caramelized onion, asparagus, and indian Nan bread :] ohh it was so delicious!! @_________@ I didnt eat the bread, or finish the chicken, however I ate every last bite of curry soaked rice and vegetables! It wasn't very much rice, no more then 1 1/2cup. >.> I wonder if theres any left...no! bad me no more food :]

I was planning on going out with my boyfriend today, but he fell asleep at noon and slept till 10:30pm X.X so I was stuck at home, if I had gone out I wouldnt have eaten dinner at all. Tomorrow I plan on going out to work with my him, then I wont have to eat at all!! oo and my parents are out tomorrow, no one to watch if I eat! WOOT!

Its a new month tomorrow! Im gonna try my hardest and loose a pound or two before school starts on the 7th! Seeing as I lost alot of weight over the summer It will be awesome to go into school and see the look on all the peoples faces who called me fat behind by back :] **insert smug smile here**

ok, so tomorrow:
Water
facial
nails- basically anything thats not food.
Im gonna clean as much of the house as I can (suck up to my mom, i need some new jeans!)
and watch Fight Club(If you havent seen it GO NOW and find it its fucking EPIC) haha

I love you girls <3 you kick fat ass!! haha :D
<33 stay thin!!

Sleepy...sleepy...sleepzzzz

Im so tired, its not funny! Today was my dads birthday, My mom and I made his Chocolate Cheesecake and a crazy veal dish! It was made of Mozzarella, prosciutto, sautéed mushrooms, fried eggplant, and fried veal all stacked ontop of eachother like a lasagna. I'm not fond of eggplant or mushrooms, But it was pretty good. 90%of the dish was fried >.< on the other hand, it was the only thing I ate today.

Other then the fried thing I had water, tea, and diet Pepsi. It was not an exciting day at all in my house! lmao. My wii broke and so I cant use my Wii fit :[ aww! haha as soon as I get $75 ill fix it :P I was all out of coconut today...until my mom came home with blue bunny coconut icecream bars! Ill resist somehow ;D I can totally understand why people dont like Coconut, its pretty weird haha


I love love love love all you girls! and you comments! lol <33 sorry for such a lame post!
Im going to catch up on all your blogs, before I fall asleep. I love reading them!
stay thin<3333

Coconutty

I tend to be pretty good at resisting food, but I have a major weakness. Coconut. I cant help it >.< I make coconut Macrons, and eat coconut Ice cream/gelato, Pinacoladas, coconut gum, coconut meat, if it has coconuts in it, im eating it X[ ahhh Im currently trying to get everything coconut out of my house. I have a ton of shredded sweetened coconut in my house for coconut macrons; Im going to save it and cook macrons for the first day of school and give them all away :] lmao this a post about coconut. Im awesome :D

Oh my good golly gosh. My boyfriend scared the shit out of me! He told me he has a blog. He knows I have a blog. I'm scared to death hes reading this cause I know he would never tell me if he found it :[ He told me he only has it to make money -_- but that doesn't calm my nerves. ugh. if he find this and is reading this, HELLO THERE! DONT BE A JERK. STOP READING YOUU!! lmao

I made a To-Do list for tomorrow cause my parents will both be out. Ive got Print/past thinspo pictures in book
jog for 45min
always move, no sitting down and watching tv
Go for all liquid day: Water
iced tea(arizona iced tea mix 0cal)
Tea
Diet Pepsi+lemon
coffee


<33 think thin :D

** interesting title having to do with my day**

sorry about my deplorable title I couldn't think of anything ^-^

Thanks girlies for your comments and support! (I know I say this almost every post!) It really helps me keep going! And thanks for the tip on the melatonin! next time at the store I'll look for it :D I'll try anything to sleep!

Well, today was rather uneventful. I made it to 2:30Pm without eating. Not much of an accomplishment seeing as I woke up at 11:30am haha :D I finally gave in and made a very small sandwich out of Bread, Cheese, Mayo, Lettuce, and Onion. I made it with the intention of doing the 'chew & spit' thing, about halfway through it I determined it was too tasty to spit and just ate that last few bites. After that I Drank water and Diet Coke. I got my mind out of the Kitchen and cleaned my Birds cage. (I love my pet birdie, hes the most important thing to me in the world. I cant imagine life without him)When Purdy's(my bird)cage was shiny clean I tryed somthing tasty. Rather then drink my plain Diet Pepsi, I squeezed a lemon, added a big spoonful of splenda to it and put it in a bottle. When I drink my Diet Pepsi, I add a Tbls of my lemon to it. Its reallly tasty. (I know Lemon diet pepsi exists and it wasnt my Idea but its real fresh and easy to make!)

that was my day....until!(dramatic music)

My parents came home from some day trip to a park. Without my knowledge, they put together steak, onion, mayo, lettuce, and bread sandwiches. That was dinner. ugh. So full, and unhealthy! oh well :] it was delicious. No dessert though. Gonna pump myself full of Laxies and water tonight. :D

has anyone seen the comercials for the Reebok easy tone sneakers? they make me want to never show my legs again.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GoRbDm644E8&feature=related
Im thinking about getting a pair of toning shoes from payless. They have the knockoff of sketchers shape-ups for cheap! I would love to have an ass/legs like the ones in the commercial. Thinspo anyone? lol

Oh and I got a pedometer. not a real one that counts my steps. its the handheld one to count people. Im going to try and use it till my real pedometer comes in the mail :]
<33

:D Abby-normal

sometimes I feel like an abnormally happy person. It takes so much for me to feel really down. When I gain a pound, I say to myself "fast today!" and a walk away. Im not sure why I'm so positive. My parents dont seem especially optimistic. hmmmm! Maybe its my ADHD? and I am confusing hyper with happy. oh well! haha :]

so City was a food catastrophe! I had a weird little sandwich for breakfast, then when I got into NY, we went to Toys R' Us, and I bought lost of candy. My friends helped me eat most of it, but i'm still stuck with a big lollipop, and Warhead candy. We went to Starbucks twice! I got a Iced Tea, then a Latte. For dinner we went to an Italian Restaurant and I got Penne al Vodka. I was the only one who didnt eat the entire plate. I had about half. While we were in Grand Central I got some Indian Food too. It was quite a food filled day. lol bright side? didn't have McDonald's XD

We did infact do A TON of walking. Probably not enough to counteract my food frenzy, but it was great for my legs! OH AND I GOT 3 BOXES OF CRAYONS FOR $1.00!! lol I'm a strange artist, so things like that really make me happy. I'm extremely hyper/happy tonight. Im gonna watch some Thinspo Vids, then add on to this. (gonna try and stop my double and tripple posts)

One more thing. I love your comments, I read each and every one of them(even if I dont respond) and They mean the world to me. I love you girls <33

(39 min later...)

Well, I didnt find any really good thinspo tonight :[ but no worries, even a little helps! I was just coloring in my food Journal; My journal is very colorful. I put little quotes down on the bottom of every page. Its nice to see a new inspiring quote every couple days! I'll need to post a pic one day ^-^ I have my weight, and total calories next to the date. In the back of my it, I keep a list of reasons to keep loosing weight. Ive dedicated a few pages to some thinspo that I have yet to print. Overall, its very me :D

I took a benydryl to help me fall asleep BEFORE 3am @___________@ anyone know a better over the counter sleep aid?(I know benadryl isnt a sleep aid but it works the same!) I have some insomnia, and when school starts im going to need to be going to bed at like 11 :/

Stay thin!! <33

McBackfire

I wanted to get a little thinspo, So I decided to watch Super Size me. Super Obese people scare the crap outof me. Seeing them walk, and all the health problems they have just gives me shivers. My Super size me thinspo didnt go so well. Its just left me craaaving McDonald's. Normally I would crave it, and get over it. But seeing as I'm going into the city tomorrow, Ill be able to eat it. Theres a McD's every few blocks.Gah Ill try and resist.

okay, I turned off supersize me and Im on my merry way to Youtube to find some real thinspo. anything to keep me inspired for tomorrow! In my old food journal, I had some great thinspo pictures. Unfortunately I spilled water on that book andthe pictures(plus my record of 56days of food) were destroyed. I have my new notebook and I like it alit better. Im going to need to put some thinspo in it.

(30 min later...)

Ahhh much better. I love thinspo videos with tips in them :] its fun! Most of them have great music, and that puts me in a great mood! haha currently my obsession is Thinspo containing My Chemical Romance(my favorite band ever. no bashing) haha Well Im going to type to the end of the video thats currently playing. I can feel that wonderful burn of hunger in the pit of my stomach. ugh it makes me all gleefull! lol okay videos over!

goodnight...goodmorning? girls! love ya! thin dreams

OZZY OZZY OZZY OY OY OY!

lol I miss Australia, I lived there when I was little. My dad was sent over there on business for 2 years, rather then see him once a moth we moved down there :] it was awesome!

anywho I went to Outback with my mom and her friend for dinner. One thing I love about outback is that they put the calories on the menu. I was dyeing for some delicious pasta tossed in some cream sauce! but when I saw 1450 next to it, I just about had a heart attack! Instead of pasta, I opted for the Fillet and wedge salad with blue cheese/balsamic dressing...or something like that! :] only 560cal! No dessert, and Diet coke to drink. I was very pleased. Otherwise I had coffee, and water today. And just a corner of a piece of bread to settle my stomach.

Last night I watched the Documentary "thin" (recomended by Hopingformore her blog, is awesome!

anywho, I checked it out and polly pissed me off but I adored Brittany. She was my favorite girl there. my favorite line there is "I have my first day planned out, for when I go back. And theres no food involved"

Going into NYC tomorrow! Going to see a few of my friends from when I went on the trip To Europe. I havent seen most of them in a few weeks and I miss them dearly. Most of them are real thin. like that natural stick thin. Out of the 4girls that Im meeting 1of them is a ballerina, and 1 of them is a world renowned figure skater. Im not really jealous of them(ehhh a tad) but I love them to death. Plus, they dont appreciate their skinny. They dont know how hard some girls work for it! oh well. Goodnight Girlies!

Those ruby red slippers only look good on thin legs ;]

Just Another Reason to Hate My Self

I would kill for abs like those, and shes wearing an eye patch! okay the eye patch doesnt have anything to do with her abs... but still she puts me to shame. That right there is my ultimate goal.

sushi, Gelato, and tv

lol Ima respond to comments here cause im bein a lazy child :] I love love love love my Wii! and Wii fit! haha Its the best, my brother and I have played hours of Super Smash Bros. I have Mario for N64, Zelda ochirena of time, Paper Mario for N64, and a few other games. You can play all sorts of old games for the N64, and they dont cost that much :] the Wii fit is awweessome cause you can jog, yoga, aerobics, and fun games! It records your weight, sets goals, and the Wii fit Plus has some extra games. Haha I sound like a sales rep!

My dad layed off the "your too thin" thing today :] I was thinking exactly what you said Ariana! My Dads just not used to thin me :] If he brings it up again ima use that! haha

i binged sooo bad today, Hopingformore it is hard to resist ^-^ I had some soup(only 70 cal!) but my mom had to ruin it and bring home Sushi. 3rolls of spicy tuna, salmon, and some other fish. ugghh sooo full! To top it all off I had some irresistible Coconut gelato. I had a pretty bad day haha

I fell like putting on some ruby slippers, clicking the heels together and saying "I wish I was thin, I wish I was thin, i wish I was thin!"......just to see if it would work :]

I love all you girls! and Ill tell you something my mom told me "Suck it in Suck-a-tash!" haha :D

Binge Binge Binge Binge Binge.....

Yep, all day. My Dad thinks Im too thin? Ill just snack all day. :[ If I gain 1Lb I wont be all that upset... Plus I can start fasting again as soon as school begins again(sept. 7!) They cant watch what I eat when I'm not around :] I'll do what I've always done! No breakfast(maybe some coffee or tea), save the $20 I get a week for lunch and drink water instead. When I get home no snacks and eat about half of what my Mom makes for dinner. Now that I have my boyfriend who likes to take me to work with him, I can lie to my parents and tell them I ate with him. Ive eaten quite alot today already, lots of mozzarella, bread etc >.< then a diet pepsi...that I ruined with grenadine. The only thing Im doing for my binge really is Laxies like crazy :P

Went for a jog using my favorite contraption ever to be created! The Wii Fit Plus! I love that thing! Sadly it the most accurate scale in my house. It says Im 107.6, my scale says im 109.0 im going to average here and say 108.3Lbs. I know guessing my weight is a terrible thing but :[ its the easiest thing I can do.

I'm going into NYC Saturday to see my friends from my Europe trip! I cant wait! I only like an hr away from the city, its alot of fun and full of food >.< My friends and I are going to be playing in a park, and then going out to dinner! small side salad anyone? haha :]

porlly gonna update later see ya girlies <3

fucking really?

My dad came home, and weighed me. Fucking ridiculous, it makes me so damn pissed! I weighed 109.0Lbs :/ its going to be hard to reach my goal weight. **sigh**

Well, nothing happened today. But I'm beginning to be really angry at all my school friends. I dont like them. I dont like that Im their friends...if they even consider me that anymore. My "best" friend decided to skip her senior year and opted for college classes as her last year in High School. She told me that she did this because she doesnt know what she wants to do, so shes taking college classes to figure it out. She told my friends who are leaving for college that "I dont have any friends here anymore". Thanks. Shes obsessed with her boyfriend. God I just want to scream at her. Tell her shes fat, ugly, pimple covered, and spiteful. She acts like shes so much better then me. Shes phony. She acts all sweet and loving, but behind your back she turns into a shallow demon of gossip. She thinks shes 22 when shes only 17. I want to smack her. Bitch.

wow, that was a rant and a half @_______@ sorry! haha
i believe in all you ^-^

Bullshit. A play.

Me: Hey Dad!
Dad: Hey Princess!... are you still trying to loose weight?
Me: No...why?
Dad: your looking really thin. Too thin. Are you eating enough?
Me: Yea, Im eating plenty.
Dad: How much do you weigh?
Me:I dont know, i haven't weighed myself since the trip.
Dad: Didnt I see something about Anorexia on your Facebook?
Me: you mean the band Anorexia?
Dad: Whatever (exits room, calls Brother)

Dad: Well your sisters gone all not eating
Me:(enters room) I am too eating!!
(after dinner)
Dad: do you think shes looking really thin?
Mom: no, She looks good.
Dad: too thin.

Thanks mom for defending me! But shit, Its gonna be trouble to loose anymore weight. I took my weight on 2scales and averaged them to 108.7lbs. Not bad, not bad. But to put my dad at ease(I dont think it worked) I Ended up stuffing myself with pasta, sauce, meatballs, and bread. Ugh, it was terrible. Sauce alone was 180cal :/ also had a very small salad. ugh I am full :[ I was able to play the sick card all day though, so the pasta was my only meal. drank tea, and water. Except for the pasta, it was an overall great day. it was about 575cal. not horrible :/

Right now, its about 11:30. Eating all that food has made me want more. Im going to try my best and wait till midnight and count it as tomorrow. That is if I still want food at midnight ;] Im hoping within a halfhour my craving for coconut gelato will have gone away.

P.S. to anyone who reads/comments on this blog Thank you a million times over :] I appreciate so much, It really keeps me going ^-^

Damn.

It seems like everytime I actually try and not eat I always end up eating a ton! I didn't go with Chess to his work because I was so worn out. Staying up till 3am and using benadryl as a sleep aid will do that to you. Instead hes meeting me to watch a movie at my house, yay! Time for the bad news. Not going with Chess meant that I had to eat dinner with my parents. My mother made a hi-calorie albeit delicious meal. Steak, Asparagus, Salad, Pizza dough roll, and Potatoes. I managed to get only 5spears asparagus rather then 6, I used the "im to full" excuse and skipped the potatoes, And got the smallest piece of steak(about 5 bites). Seeing as I had nothing for lunch and an okay breakfast it worked out not that bad :/(trying to stay optimistic here)

My mother and I went to the grocery store, It was nearly impossible not to throw chips, salsa, hummus, and candy into the cart :[ I did however give in to one desire of mine. Coconut Gelato. While I was in Europe, I ate it almost everyday. Ive got enough will power to only have a few spoonfulls at a time. I got it because it's what I remember most. It brings back every memory from that trip, my friends, good times...

In total today Im looking at about 474 calories. less then 500! surprising :]

tomorrow Ill be thinner!! hopefully

Temptation

Thank you mom for nearly ruining my day, and its only noon!! As I sat contently with my tea, my mother insisted on sitting down next to me holding a mouthwatering Bacon egg and cheese sandwich. I could smell the bacon and hear the crunch of the toast. It was absolute torture. All I could think about was running out to the kitchen and putting together a delicious sandwich of Roastbeef, mayo, red onion, Gruyère cheese, all on some great bread. But! I didnt. I made myself a little balsamic vinaigrette and cut some fresh lettuce and just dipped it. Low calorie and delicious and curbed my crave.

I have made myself a promise that today I will not eat anymore. Im going with my boyfriend to his work today(he delivers Chinese food) I'll tell my parents that I ate with him, and I'll tell him I'm eating at home :] I just need to pray my craving and appetite don't get the best of me! One problem that may arise is The Chinese food place give my boyfriend dinner, so sesame chicken or chicken and vegetables. Very unhealthy. And he doesn't eat it, lets I don't either!!

Tea-0
Mozzarella-60
balsamic vinaigrette-80
lettuce-5

Adventure Time

Watching the Adventure Time marathon. I love that show :]

Rather then sit around on my butt(cept for now) I've been up and cleaning my room. I am trying to keep myself moving, even a little bit. Its better then nothing! I went to the bookstore today and it was pouring rain, I was in a t-shirt and jeans so I had to warm myself up somehow. I broke down and had a latte. Just looked it up only 160cal soo not entirely horrible. While I was at the book store I got a new food journal. It's small and adorable, so I can actually carry/write in it without pulling out a large clunky notebook. The pages are big enough for 2days of food each(that is if I keep my intake low) Im very pleased with my new start.

I weighed myself today on my sortof inaccurate scale, it needs to be shaken a few times before it shows a weight that makes sense. anyway I weighed 111.4Lbs. I am set on getting it down to 106.0Lbs by the time I start school in 16days.

Tea 0
latte-160
rice 229
curry 200
water 0
1strip bacon 35
total= 624

not that bad for my first day actually trying to resist food :] I just gotta remember tomorrow Ill be thinner.

Tomorrow :]

Re-start button like an N64

Well, Ive decided to make myself a whole new start on loosing weight. My last Blog(looking like I should) just felt lost, forgotten, and weighty. I want loosing weight to feel fresh, good, crisp, new. And this is is. No more dark and sad.

Today I went to the Renaissance Fair. I love going there. I dress up to the nines every year, as a Pirate. I have to say my costumes pretty legit too! This year I looked the best I ever have, but not good enough! I tend to go stutting around, flirting and joking. Its one of a few times I look/feel good at the same time.

I also devised an ingenious way to keep myself aware of my food intake...or not to eat food. Recently I have been snacking like none other! I eat cheese, chips, hummus, apples, ice cream, real coke! the list goes on and on. So my idea was to put a rubber band around my arm. Its a tight rubber band. Not enough to hurt/cut off circulation, just tight enough to keep me aware. I relate the rubber band to food and its helping! whatever works right? :]

Today I ate:
1/2grapefruit
1/2fries
1/3chocolate covered cheese cake
ice cream
meatloaf
pasta
water

This is the first time in awhile that im actually happy to write about my food intake. Or even blog for that matter. Writing in my notebook became such a chore. Im really quite glad.

<33 goodnight!