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Hello my lovlies. I have been MIA for a couple of days, Ive been reading your blogs though :]I have been really quite sick for the past 2day. Tuesday I vomited after 2beers, 2 shots of whiskey(?), and some good ol' bud. I took wednesday off(no hangover thank god) But I still feel crappy. Even though I havent been keeping up with my blog I have been writing down what I eat and all that :]

Schools just taken over latley. I still have a shit-ton of math homework to do in preparation for a test tomorrow. I got my GPA today, 83. Im working on all sorts of college things, aplications, portfolios. At least my AP art class hasnt taken over my life just yet.

I got on the scale yesterday and was horrified, it said 115Lbs...But I really dont thing it was accurate. I was sick and had been eating ALL DAY.(mostly soup, water and some pasta but still) Im gonna go re-weigh myself

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Sigh of relief, 111.0Lbs. Its after dinner, and Im loaded with water. haha excuses excuses. Im going to get on here much more often I hope, but right now I have math homework to get started on <33 stay thin

2days of binge

I apologize for my lack of post!
This weekend, all Ive been doing is eating. Yesterday was
Coffe
banana milkshake
pizza
gellatto
pasta
soda
hotdog
steak
cheese
apple
and im sure theres more :/

Today:
Coffee
soda
cupcake
coconut macroons
Grits
bacon
rice

Ugh Ive been so full all weeked, I havent been wearing my pedometer, and I feel like Ive gained 10Lbs. I feel like such a lazy bum, one of those obese people who say they cant get exercise because of some silly problem.

Holy crap I just caught a mouse in my house(lol ryme) it was crawling at the edge of the couch and I threw a basket over him and threw him in a big bucket. @_______@ its so cute and small!

Anywho. Im going to restrict as much as possible. I have about 3weeks till I go to North Carolina, My brother has told me that all the girls at his collage have great bodies. So I've gotta be ready. My mom tells me Im too thin, but hopefully if I loose it slowly enough she wont really notice. I love all you girls Im going to get back to posting every night and catching up on your blogs.

<33 stay thin

Freakin

Sorry about the lack of post yesterday. I was far to tired to do it :[ I was falling asleep at 8:00 last night. Turned my tv off just in time to pass out.

Yesterady was pretty good on food. I had coffee, Diet Coke, and a sandwich. Today I've had hot chocolate, and Diet Coke. oh and gum :] Im not sure what I weigh but my mom keeps saying I'm too thin. Everyday I hear it. She grabs my side "to find something, theres nothing there"

Me and Chess havent really worked things out. I havent really talked to him. I've been very stand-offish. My...trust? respect? attention? is like a big bucket of water. It takes a few seconds to clear it out, and a while to fill it back up. Its sortof happened before where I go auto-piolet, robot around him. Ittle be fine :] (thanks for your support ladies, I really apreciate it)

Im currently in the library at my school. There are tables of computers, and a few single computers around. Normally I go to a single computer in the back, but when I got here today these insolent little 6th graders were google maping their houses. I was forced to sit at a group table. I was fine, checking blogs etc, untill this 8th grade boy sat down next to me and kept looking at my screen. I was about to start typing this blog but I was petrified! The 6th grade girls ran off for lunch and I quickly changed computers haha :] It was so freaky.

Im kinof a people watcher. got it from my dad lol Theres this 7th? 6th? grade girl running between 2 tables talking to friends and shes rather chubby(unfortunatly her chances of the weight being babyfat and dissaprearing during puberty are slim[lol get it? slim?]) What bothers me is the jean mini-skirt that shows off a good portion of thigh and...higher then thigh. I hate it when i see kids wearing bad clothes. I hate looking back at what I wear and going gewwww. Ohhh childhood. :] Ok enough ranting aboout random people.

I love you all, and all your support. You really help me <333
stay thin!

Banana anger

Today intake was really good considering the ammount that I've been eating latley. Coffee for breakfast, diet coke for lunch, pork cops with rice and broccolie for dinner. I didn't do as much walking as I wouldve liked. I'm extreamly worn out. Hence the lack luster post :/ I just finished a banana milkshake. It's just milk, ice, banana, and vanilla for flavor. It was tasty but extrodinarly filling.

Last night my boyfriend and I... Well it wasn't a fight but I did tell him how I felt about being touchy. He told me it angered him that I didn't do anything. He said he wasn't asking me to do anythig but he wanted to know why I was so damn weird. I straight up told him if he wanted a girlfriend who put out he made a bad fucking choice. I said that I was trying as hard as I could to change, and that I was sorry for leading him on etc. I'm still really upset. He picked me up to go to school and he told me he was sorry and that he wasn't mad at me he just wanted to know if he had done somthing wrong, even thoguh I was I the verge of tears I said he hadn't.(he really hasn't :/) I three on my mirrored aviator sunglasses and spent the rest of the carride concentrating on not crying. When we finally arrived at school I threw on a brave face held his hand and walked into school. We only had first period together and I didn't see him the rest of the day. I rode the bus home, rather then ride with him. When I got home and checked my phone he sent somthing along the lines of "I'm sorry but I understand you want to break up" it was an obvious cry for me to answer him. I told him that I didn't know if I was mad at him or not. I'm really upset over the whole thing. I haven't talked to him for hours. I don't want to. I've been debating making a pros and cons list... But I'm afraid of what the out come will be. I want to break down and cry or get trashed.

I'm going to restrict as much as possible until this thing is resolved. Ugh. So depressed :[

Still overdone

Today was pretty good. I'm coming down from my food-high this weekend, meaning I'm still eating more then I should but I'm on my way back to 1small meal a day. I did something horrifying, I actually ate breakfast. I ate ramen for brekie( what my family calls breakfast pronounced breeak-ee lol) I had a cigarette for lunch, I love when people need someone to smoke with so they just invite me along XD I'm such a mooch when it comes to cigs, bud, or alcohol. For dinner I ate lasagna with my parents, and coconut ice cream when my boyfriend came over.

Today was the first school day that I wore a tight fitting shirt. All they other t shirts I've worn were kind of loose. I was in Government class when 2of my friends semi-interrupted each other to ask me if I had lost weight :D I was like yea about 15pounds(20Lbs but whos counting? ;D) one of them asked "why did you want to loose weight? you look really skinny, and you were skinny before!" I just shrugged my shoulders :] my other friend asked me how I did it, and I started to panic a tad but just then the teacher started talking :] all in all, I felt pretty good...until I remembered I was still overweight. :/

haha :D well I love you girlies, still catchin up on all your lovley blogs, yall write alot in 4days!! <33 stay thin

It's the definition of fail

Well I'm back and I'm very very fat. I ate so much this weekend it's going to make some of you sick. If you have a heart condition, are pregnant or have trouble standing, please avert your eyes from the rest of this post. Some of you may think it can be that bad but au contrair. Thursday wasn't that bad. But Friday was a disaster. I had forgotten to take my medication. I ate:
Eggs
English muffin
Ramen
Hot chocolate x3
Kraft mac and cheese
Roastbeef cheese mayo lettuce sandwich
Chocolate
Diet coke x3
Apple
Lasagna
Ice cream+chocolate syrup+cherris
Granola

That was one day. I was about to burst the entire day. I felt so damn sick. I'm sure I missed a few things on that list >.< Saturday I ate granola, coffee, hotchocolate, steak, vegtables, hotdog, and diet coke. Not that horrible. I feel horribly fat though. I'm going to eat as little as I can.

Currently I'm typing this up on my iPod so I'm going to read all your lovley blogs tomorrow during school. I can't wait to catch up on all that I've missed. I have missed you all sooo much!! Stay thin.... Even if I haven't.

vermontVermont

I'm going to by tonight ugh so no post for 3 days!! Sorry :( don't have much time so this is about all I can post! Love you girls illmiss you!! Stay thin!!! :D

Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?

who me? yes, it was me >.< I stole 2, with a giant mug of hot chocolate complete with heavy cream. I feel like such a fatty! Its terrible. For dinner my mom made a huge piece of chicken, breaded, fried, and served over butter coated pasta. It was way to much food. and theres no end in sight.

Im going to Vermont this weekend. My parents are going to be watching everything I eat...or dont eat. I know its going to be all hotdogs, and hamburgers. Not a green thing to eat. Im going to gain like 5Lbs. ewww. 1Lb, not so bad. 5lbs? murder! My mom hugged me today and started pinching my back fat! I asked her "what are you doing??" she said "theres nothing there, your pretty bony"(there was plenty there to grab) ugh. I love my mom, I love her huggs and kisses, but if every hug is a way to see if Ive lost weight I dont want them anymore. fuuck

Im veryy sleeepy! Love you girls <33

Burnt out

Dear lord I have no energy. But today rocked! I didn't get any comments on my weight but I know I looked great. Or at least that's what I choose to believe. Haha. All my classes are pretty good. Art went very well I ended upfalling asleep at 3 last night. Woke up at 6 and was falling asleep in my chair today.

As far as food goes, I had coffee, diet pepsi, and a little pasta and vodka sauce with asparagus. It was reeealy tasty. I made just enough so there was no leftovers so I couldn't sneak down and have some. I might just go on a mini binge tonight cause my mom was calling me rally bony :) but the last thing I need is them getting suspicious. So keeping up apperences won't hurt.

I'm sure I've forgotten to mention something so be ready for a double post. Hahahaha love you girls to the bone!

12:05am no rest for the weary then.

Ugh. I miss having a laptop. It was my moms that she uses in school cause she's a teacher. Now that schools starting again she gets to take it back :( I'm currently writing this from my iPod touch. I have to wake up at 6:00am for school. For a girl who is used to falling asleep at 3 and waking up at noon, this is going to be incredibly difficult. I need to shower and do my hair and look great tomorrow. My high school is extreamly small. 175 kids in my grade. And were one of the larger grades. The middle school is attached to the highschool and we share lunch rooms, were tiny. I know just about every one in my grade and the grade below me. It's kindof weird. To think tomorrow I'll be top dog in school. Seniors ftw! It doesn't make a difference to me though. I don't drive, I wouldn't use tv senior lounge. . . Gosh Im like peter pan. I'm never going to grow up! Haha

I was hoping that blogging would kindof tire me out :/ te not really working. Goodnigt all you bones!

Schoool tomorrow :]

Thank you girls so much for all your support :] I hung out with him last night and he didnt make a single sexual joke, and it mad e me really happy! Im gonna talk to him soon about it, I just have to fing the balls to do it hahaha :] Im probaly going to bring it up if he starts with the behind the back jokes again. I think he sortof gets that Im not really kinky girl. :] And saving for marriage is pretty cool, to have someone that special.

Today was rather uneventful, My mum and I finished painting the garage floor and we have to let it dry for a few days :/ Otherwise, my mum hugged me and she told me "ohh your wastin away to nothing!" after that I went and cut up an apple, but it tasted kindof funny so I didnt eat it :D No lunch and coffee for breakfast! Since it was labor day, and the last day of summer before school, My parents made a big meal. Steak, potatoes, salad, asparagus, corn, and bread. Ugh, soo much food! I had 1/2 the steak, salad, asparagus, and a little corn. :D Im still stuffed full of food! I waled about 2.5miles today, not the best but some. >.< didnt weigh myself either!

School tomorrow! Im wearing new jeans and a shirt thats lace in the back and can show off my bony back! Cant pinch an inch back there! Ill try and get a pic <3 Coffee for breakfast, nothing for lunch, and small dinner? yes :] During the school year I normally pocket the $20 a week for lunch and just not eat. I get cash and thinner!

okies, I gotta go lovelies! <33 thank yo all so much, love ya to the bone!

Size 3

I went jean shopping today, at PacSun of course(only place I go for jeans!) and I was a size3 and I looked great in them!! I got couple of new shirts ooo now I cant wait for school!! still 106!! I walked 3.6miles today, mostly when I was helping paint the garage floor :]

Time for a little bf info rant... Im not exactly the kindof girl who puts out >.< I dont do kinky thing with my bf; Im not the kindof person to do that. I've never been. What makes me happy is kissing, holding hands, snuggling close, and kidding around. My bf on the other hand, is a very kinky person. Now, he would never push me to do something I dont want to... but hes not exactly subtle about his lack of physical adventures. It really makes me feel like a bad girlfriend and person, but I know that if I gave him what he wanted I would feel even worse about myself. Im not saving myself for marriage or anything like that, that ship has sailed, but Im not comfortable nor do I find it fun to do kinky things. I kindof stopped talking to him today, he went on 4Chan and was making jokes about the fact that he doesnt get any. He told me about it and what people said to him like "kick that bitch to the curb" and I have enough problems in my life. this shouldnt be one of them. ugh. Im sorry this is so off topic but I really had to get it out of my system.

Love ya girls <33

You are my sunshine ^.^

All you girls are, your blogs, your comments, your support. I read every one of your blogs and every one of your comments and they all mean the world to me! Even if I don't always comment, I hope you all know I read everything <33

Gah! Im freezing!! GUESS WHAT??! im 106.0Lbs today!! ooooo Im so happy! 3days till school, Ill probably loose another pound, or at least stay the same ^-^ either way... My dad woke me up real early today! 10:30am!!(hahah i know, but its waay early for me!) my parents are redoing the Garage, adn that involves taking EVERYTHING(alot) out, vacuuming the solid inch of fine dust and dirt on the floor, power washing the floor, painting the floor with a 3part process paint, and then moving everything back in. I had to help get most of the stuff out. and then came the vacuum. It was painfull, there was so much fine dust it killed the vacuum. My dad powerwashed and I breathed in the dust and the water in the air. >.< I'm still having trouble breathing!

for breakfast I had grapefruit, with coffee. Then water for lunch. My mom made cookies and I had to have one so my mom wouldn't feel bad, it filled me up >.< Then my parents made salad and steak :D so a little bit of steak and a big bowel of salad! And tea. lol I also had a bunch of honeydew melon today, that was yummy! Ugh, I ate so much today that I hope I didnt ruin my weight X.x Ehh, I still have 3days to fix it!!!

LOVE YA TO THE BONES<3

Lady luck is a skinny bitch

Today was pretty good :] I went and got my nails done with my Mom. I had coffee for breakfast, nothing for lunch and Lucky lucky me!... My parents went out to Applebees for dinner, leaving me behind ;D I poured some soup in a bowl, slathered it around, and poured about half of it behind my house in the woods. I left the rest sitting on my counter (thanks hopingformore ;D) I went upstairs to weigh myself and was I in for a good surprise, 107.0Lbs! Thats with jean shorts, ugg boots, a belly full of water and peaches, and one of my boyfriends big shirts...:D ohh how I wish I had my wii to get an accurate weight!

thanks so much all of you for all of your support and comments <3 i really appreciate it and they really keep me going!!

so I've got 4days till school, 107.0lbs. Im gonna make my goal of atleast 106.0 no problem :D

love ya to the bones girls

Art :D

Heres all my art that I could find :]
<33

Quick Question?

Ive always been curious, I feel bad when I miss a day from blogging idk why, but Im never sure if i should make a lame post just cause Im compelled to post everyday, or just not post anything at all...Its like if I do nothing in a day, absotootly nuthin, should I still make some lame post? ahh Im tired :]

The one thing...

I gain a pound, I shrug it off. I dont eat for an entire day, and I'm proud. My AP art teacher calls and tells me I need to bring in 5 excellent completed pieces on the first day of school for 'evaluation', and I freak out. Its surprising what scares me. Ive made a couple pieces(8?) and I'm scared to death of what my teacher will say. Last year I brought in 10pieces of art and she threw out 7of them >.< I did sell a piece of art in Woodstock, maybe I wont fail...

Well, my collage tour went very good. It was about 90degrees Fahrenheit out and we walked around the campus for an hour and a half(2miles!) In total today I walked almost 4miles(3.7to be exact...or 5.9Km)and I weighed 109.0Lbs. Other then the campus tour, I didnt do much today. I was going to go out shopping with my mom, but she had some stomach ache. Oh well, My mom promised to get me a pair of jeans before school next Tuesday :]

I drank water 99% of the day. My family was having leftovers for dinner. The only thing that was left was rice, steak and all sorts of unhealthy food! I managed to get away with a few pieces of steak on a small salad with a little vinaigrette, and asparagus! No dessert, just tea.

I love you girls to the bone! Im tired as hell >.< Im going to walk around my house till Ive walked at least 4.5miles! I need exercise!

Update:
I kindof feel like I ruined everything. I had 3bites of Chocolate Cheesecake. My stomach hurts from doing as many sit ups as I can everynight. Im drinking a lot of Diet Pepsi, try and get a little energy before I finish 4.5mi.

Made my day.

underneath it was the comment "whatever, that's what fat people with no will power say! think thin girls! love ya!"

it just made my day :] had to share with people who would appreciate it!

Love ya to the bones girls!

Patsie the Purple Pedometer

It finally arrived, my pedometer! Im happy :] I also named it Patsie. I ended up walking 2.5miles today! It was a really good day for me. I woke up at 1:30Pm because my 11:30am alarm didn't go off. When I went downstairs I saw the mail truck so I went out and got it, and there was Patsie! I spent a good portion of the day just walking in circles around my house, it was to hot to go outside(Im a cold weather person!) I had a peach for breakfast with water. I only ate 3things today! water, 1peach, and a very small homemade personal pizza. After pizza my bf came and picked me up. I was out till 10:30pm, and that means I missed dessert with my dad! I gave Chess my piece of Chocolate Cheesecake.

so tomorrow my Mom and I are going on a walking tour of a collage, the info says its going to take about an hour. Im really excited, I plan on going to school for cartooning and animation. I love doing stop motions(like nightmare before christmas, or Coraline, or the Corpse Bride) im getting a great deal! Walking and seeing a collage :]

well time to catch up on all your lovely blogs. I adore reading them, even if I dont comment. Thanks for all your support <33

stay thin!

History!

hey! so I hadn't realized that I never put my weight up anymore >.< sorry!! today I weighed 108.5Lbs! I really started restricting and working out in April. I remember going to my Doctors for a refill on my ADHD meds and she weighed me. She told me "your 126Lbs today, according to your charts youve been that weight for the last couple years so I guess thats your weight!"(Im 5'3") I was horrified! I couldn't stand the thought that I was fat, Ive always been fat, and I was always going to be fat. I remember seeing some controversy on TV about pro-ana blogs and how its poising girls. I went onto one and thought "I found it! I wont be fat anymore, i can be happy. people wont ridicule me, and theres an entire subculture of proana, and their all amazing." In alot of ways I had always been restricting in a sad attempt at loosing weight. I had always not eaten breakfast or lunch, the difference was I actually started to pay alot more attention to what and how much I ate. I began to run everyday, and work at loosing weight. I made my first blog(looking like I should) and it worked. By the end of April I had lost a few pounds. School ended in June and I was 117Lbs. I had lost close to 10Lbs. It was crazy. And since summer started Ive lost close to another 10Lbs(1.5lbs to go)Going back to school another 10Lbs lighter. suck on that mean school kids ;D

Another thing that spurred me to loose weight was my brother Gram(Ive always spelled his name funny its Graham). Anyway, he went for his first year in College last September in North Carolina. My family lives in NY so its super far away, especially cause me and him are really close. Hes 6'2" and weighed close to 250Lbs, he didnt gain the freshman 15, he lost 40Lbs. When he returned home all he got was compliment after compliment on how great he looked. He had always been the big sibling(in both stature and weight) and now I was the fat sibling. It shook me to my fatty core. When I lost 10Lbs, my brother was telling me "wow Adrienne! you lost alot of weight, you can really tell, like in the face. you look great" Were equal now, no fat sibling.

The last reason I wanted to loose alot of weight was my brothers evil exgirlfriend. Her mind was crazy, but she looked like the perfect girl, like model. Her waist was itsy bitsy, she had a massive chest, shes about 5" and tiny. she was just perfect looking. The problem was that people would say "You guys could be twins" and i knew what they meant was "you guys look like twins, if one twin fell in a tub of lard ate her way out." So, Im fixing it :]

hahaha Im sorry this was such a crazy long post, I just wanted to give yall a little history ^-^ Ill probably put up a new post later on my intake etc. <33