The less I talk/think/listen/associate with my parents the happier I am. Tomorrow Im gonna need to play nice, ya know. Pretend to be a perfect happy daughter whos in the perfect happy family. eww.
my mom didnt ask me what I ate, didnt weigh me...didnt care- so cool? lol
Today I ate:
Tea
Diet Pepsi
Iced tea
Egg+english muffin
Applesauce
coffee
Pizza slice
hot chocolate
Ugh Im really full. my stomachs all full of water, and I can hear in slosshhing around @__________@ Im all tired out :/ goodnight lovelies
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Well that was pointless
I hope my mom doesnt read this anymore but here it goes...
first off I want to thank all of you for your support and kind words <3 they mean alot
second, I told my dad how I felt. I told him that Gram wasnt coming home. And he just said noo nope no no no, hes coming home friday! like...did he just completely forget his little freak out last night where he told him not to bother coming home? They want to know why hes depressed. But Gram doesnt have and answer, he just...doesnt. I talked to Gram, crying almost the entire time mind you, and he told me the past two months were the hardest thing to go through ever in his life. He was so unhappy he felt no drive to get out of bed, eat, or move at all. I know Gram wont go...hurting himself...but Im still worried for his mental health. I love my big brother so much and its killing me to see him like this. Im sorry girls im going to have to cut off here for just a little while...Ill update in a little bit. I cant even see the keyboard
first off I want to thank all of you for your support and kind words <3 they mean alot
second, I told my dad how I felt. I told him that Gram wasnt coming home. And he just said noo nope no no no, hes coming home friday! like...did he just completely forget his little freak out last night where he told him not to bother coming home? They want to know why hes depressed. But Gram doesnt have and answer, he just...doesnt. I talked to Gram, crying almost the entire time mind you, and he told me the past two months were the hardest thing to go through ever in his life. He was so unhappy he felt no drive to get out of bed, eat, or move at all. I know Gram wont go...hurting himself...but Im still worried for his mental health. I love my big brother so much and its killing me to see him like this. Im sorry girls im going to have to cut off here for just a little while...Ill update in a little bit. I cant even see the keyboard
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
They dont care about us
My parents dont care about me or Gram. They dont love us. They just care how much we cost. Thats all they are concerned about. If they loved Gram they would let him come home no questions asked, instead they freak out about him "wasting" $10,000 by leaving school for a semester. They arent concerned about the fact that hes clinically depressed. And let it be know that Im the only one in my family who has never been on anti-depressants, so depression is not uncommon in our family. They dont care that hes so depressed he willing left a school, and a city, and friends that I KNOW he loves with all his heart, to come to a home he hates.
My dad, as usual believes its a conspiracy, that the school just doesnt want a failing kid bringing down their average, and that the school doesnt want to deal with his problems, also making the school look bad. My moms response to grams Diagnosed Clinical Depression? get over it. Just get over it. get over it? He has obvious demons he needs to deal with and all they care about is how much money hes wasting. Wouldnt even buy him a plane ticket to NY for Thanksgiving. I cant stand that these....money grubbing monsters are my parents. I dont want them to be.
Im so broken, and I havent stopped crying for the past 45Min. My nose is raw from tissues, my eyes bloodshot, and my cheeks are tear stained. My head is throbbing. I hate it here, I hate it.
My dad, as usual believes its a conspiracy, that the school just doesnt want a failing kid bringing down their average, and that the school doesnt want to deal with his problems, also making the school look bad. My moms response to grams Diagnosed Clinical Depression? get over it. Just get over it. get over it? He has obvious demons he needs to deal with and all they care about is how much money hes wasting. Wouldnt even buy him a plane ticket to NY for Thanksgiving. I cant stand that these....money grubbing monsters are my parents. I dont want them to be.
Im so broken, and I havent stopped crying for the past 45Min. My nose is raw from tissues, my eyes bloodshot, and my cheeks are tear stained. My head is throbbing. I hate it here, I hate it.
Fuck, my mom found this
My mom came upstairs and Told me I was looking "ill in my sickness" She then forced me onto a scale and I weighed 105.0 Shes making me gain 5Lbs. Making me. Im angry and scared. She told me to cut the bullshit. She told me she found this blog and how Ive been talking about skipping meals and starving etc. Im going to delete my Comp history on my other computer and then I might change the address to this blog but Ill keep you all updated
Just Because...
Just because someone is comfortable with their own body, does not give them the right to dress however they want. Just because an item of clothing is sold in a certain side, does not give someone the right to wear said item.
Case and point.
They are cute outfits...for a skinny person. Actually it kindof looks like she ate Lady Gaga and Katy Perry. And all of their friends. ;] -from the blog young Fat and Fabulous. looking for some good reverse-thinspo? head on over
http://www.youngfatandfabulous.com/
Today was pretty good,
2Diet Pepsis,
one coco Mallow(the chocolate covered marshmallows with the cookie)(80cal)
Water
and one gusher!
Meatball sub for dinner again, 2meatballs and a little bit of bread. I need to throw the the rest of my chips out before I devour them! I still feel gross from those :[ I deserve it though, taught me a lesson. No more chips!!! I want to weigh 105 again when my brother Gram gets home Friday! YAYAYAYAY
AHhhhh good times <3 Thanks for all of your support Girls <333 Stay thin!
Case and point.
They are cute outfits...for a skinny person. Actually it kindof looks like she ate Lady Gaga and Katy Perry. And all of their friends. ;] -from the blog young Fat and Fabulous. looking for some good reverse-thinspo? head on over
http://www.youngfatandfabulous.com/
Today was pretty good,
2Diet Pepsis,
one coco Mallow(the chocolate covered marshmallows with the cookie)(80cal)
Water
and one gusher!
Meatball sub for dinner again, 2meatballs and a little bit of bread. I need to throw the the rest of my chips out before I devour them! I still feel gross from those :[ I deserve it though, taught me a lesson. No more chips!!! I want to weigh 105 again when my brother Gram gets home Friday! YAYAYAYAY
AHhhhh good times <3 Thanks for all of your support Girls <333 Stay thin!
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