well well, Mr. Turkey we meet again...

Thats how I feel today will be. like The turkeys 007 and Im Goldmember trying to destroy him...lol that was weird. I dont know Im gonna just let go a little today i guess. 104.5Lbs this morning. Plus Im gonna be doing a good thing today. One of our family friends is a paraplegic(has been almost all his like, hes really chill about though, making jokes etc) Anyway, he had an accident where he ended up in the hospital, parts of his hips had died either from somthing internal or from falling but they had to take the dead flesh out. Long story short Hes go 2 big holes in his side and he cant sit up for more then 30min a day. He wont be able to move for months and months. So were going over with a few other friends of his and having thanksgiving with him :]

update latterz!

btw thank you for all your kind comments they really help me when shit goes down <3

Less and Less

The less I talk/think/listen/associate with my parents the happier I am. Tomorrow Im gonna need to play nice, ya know. Pretend to be a perfect happy daughter whos in the perfect happy family. eww.
my mom didnt ask me what I ate, didnt weigh me...didnt care- so cool? lol

Today I ate:
Tea
Diet Pepsi
Iced tea
Egg+english muffin
Applesauce
coffee
Pizza slice
hot chocolate

Ugh Im really full. my stomachs all full of water, and I can hear in slosshhing around @__________@ Im all tired out :/ goodnight lovelies

Well that was pointless

I hope my mom doesnt read this anymore but here it goes...

first off I want to thank all of you for your support and kind words <3 they mean alot

second, I told my dad how I felt. I told him that Gram wasnt coming home. And he just said noo nope no no no, hes coming home friday! like...did he just completely forget his little freak out last night where he told him not to bother coming home? They want to know why hes depressed. But Gram doesnt have and answer, he just...doesnt. I talked to Gram, crying almost the entire time mind you, and he told me the past two months were the hardest thing to go through ever in his life. He was so unhappy he felt no drive to get out of bed, eat, or move at all. I know Gram wont go...hurting himself...but Im still worried for his mental health. I love my big brother so much and its killing me to see him like this. Im sorry girls im going to have to cut off here for just a little while...Ill update in a little bit. I cant even see the keyboard

They dont care about us

My parents dont care about me or Gram. They dont love us. They just care how much we cost. Thats all they are concerned about. If they loved Gram they would let him come home no questions asked, instead they freak out about him "wasting" $10,000 by leaving school for a semester. They arent concerned about the fact that hes clinically depressed. And let it be know that Im the only one in my family who has never been on anti-depressants, so depression is not uncommon in our family. They dont care that hes so depressed he willing left a school, and a city, and friends that I KNOW he loves with all his heart, to come to a home he hates.

My dad, as usual believes its a conspiracy, that the school just doesnt want a failing kid bringing down their average, and that the school doesnt want to deal with his problems, also making the school look bad. My moms response to grams Diagnosed Clinical Depression? get over it. Just get over it. get over it? He has obvious demons he needs to deal with and all they care about is how much money hes wasting. Wouldnt even buy him a plane ticket to NY for Thanksgiving. I cant stand that these....money grubbing monsters are my parents. I dont want them to be.

Im so broken, and I havent stopped crying for the past 45Min. My nose is raw from tissues, my eyes bloodshot, and my cheeks are tear stained. My head is throbbing. I hate it here, I hate it.

Fuck, my mom found this

My mom came upstairs and Told me I was looking "ill in my sickness" She then forced me onto a scale and I weighed 105.0 Shes making me gain 5Lbs. Making me. Im angry and scared. She told me to cut the bullshit. She told me she found this blog and how Ive been talking about skipping meals and starving etc. Im going to delete my Comp history on my other computer and then I might change the address to this blog but Ill keep you all updated