Im Going to Vermont Tonight, Ill Leave You With an Inspirational Story About Kelly.

I have a friend. Her name is Kelly.

 She is really fat. She always smells terrible, and honestly I dont think she has ever shaved her legs. Her clothing style consists of everything thats too small for her, hand-me-downs from her tall thin sisters, anything emo/punk, and all her pants are too small leading to the horrifying  phenomenon known as 'plumbers crack'  

 Shes going to prom this year. I  dont think its in this dress...I hope shes not. But I have been told what her prom dress looks like. it looks like mine from last year. Except in daffodil yellow...here let me make this easier.  Thats me in my dress. 

Now imagine that dress in bright yellow stretched across Kellys pale flabby skin? 

Scary huh? lol 

One of the most unfortunate things about her is that shes the last kid in her family, the youngest. Shes also the fattest. Those are 2 of her sisters, all of her family got her mothers genes(tall thin etc) except for Kelly...

You would think that as the black sheep of her family she would try and make an effort with her weight.

Nope Kelly works at Dunkin Doughnuts where she eats hundreds of calories everyday. 

Dont be Kelly girls. 

Funerals are weird

So I went to my great uncle Kens funeral today. He was an amazing man RIP. Ive never been to a funeral(even with all the deaths in previous years)Ive never had to go. So because Im part of the closest family to him we had to sit up front so I ended up shaking like 30 peoples hands. Anyway I walk into the church and Im standing in the pews a minute when I look over and theres a big cloth covering a box and I realize 'oh my god, hes in that box' it was weeeeiird. I also had to um receive the host(?) Ive never gone to church or done that. Im Lutheran but Im not practicing. Do those crackers and wine have calories? It was like eating a foam disk....

After the funeral the family went to lunch at this amazing but totally fattening Italian restaurant. The Priest and his wife came along, and they sat across from me. Now obviously I am not religious at all so sitting across from them would mean I would have to talk alot of religion. And I did. And it was obnoxious.

Anyway I ate:
1 wafer+sip of wine
1 medium dunkinchino
1/4huge bowl fettuccine Alfredo (that I might eat now...)
2 bites mozerella
and coffee

I might be high. Im only comfortable eating when Im high. Ive gotten used to the munchies so they only get me on occasion but earlier when I was at the restaurant I ate like 3 bites. Now? I want to eat some of it, it was delicious. ahh.

Im talking to Chess constantly hes such a goof :3

Think thin ladies. Thank God Im not fat. I cant wait to be thinner. 105.5 today :|

I WANT MOTHERFUCKING SPRINGTIME. hence the new theme

Cigarettes, Arnold Palmer, and Weeeeeeed

Okay so I dont know if I told you all this but I was grounded on Saturday because of my basically failing grade in Govt. class. And we are currently on break. We were supposed to go to Vermont this weekend but my great uncle Ken died. I didnt know him that well but he was a cool dude. Fought in WWII. So anyway. My Uncle came up for the funeral and I didnt want to go to the wake so I stayed home.

Heres where it gets fun. As soon as my parents left my best friend and basically my other half Megan picked me up. We went out got cigarettes, and I got a 'lite' Arnold Palmer Iced Tea then we went out to meet Megan's boyfriend and boy oh boy we smoked a fat blunt. Got home, and now am waiting for my parents to get home. My Dad gave me $20 for dinner, with that I got a pack of Marb reds, and threw in for a nice blunt. Got $5 for change. Im going to tell him I got a Cluckin Russian, the Iced Tea, and maybe a cupcake :]

I make such good plans.

Heres what I ate today.
Water(0)
Coffee(25)
Iced tea(150)
cigarettes (0)

Oh and I got Chess to come to my house(just turn around in my driveway) so that I could hear/see his car that he is so proud of lol hes silly. Im so tired though we were up till like2am talking on the phone :]

I also need to get up at like 7am tomorrow to go to the mass then lunch for ken. Should be well dont really want to say fun but whatever

Thin Dreams <3
p.s. I dont know who posted that originally but thanks lol

Hey. You should read this post. Its about the worst 2 weeks ever.

lol jk. Im high. but thats not the point. The point is Im fat. 107.0Lbs. I went to the doctor a few days ago for my regular physical. I had been drinking alot of water that day and when the nurse asked me what I though I would weigh I called it perfectly. 107.0lbs. Ew. muther fucking ew. Ive seen my self in the mirror and its not nice.....

I should really start from the beginning.
Alright. So it started with Chess. His birthday is on Valentines day. It was the perfect excuse to make him his favorite cake(cheese cake) and give him it :] It was going to be perfect. But its also my Dads favorite cake, and he was really upset when he found out that it wasnt for him(I couldnt tell him who its really for, he hasnt liked Chess since we broke up) So I ended up giving chess one really big piece instead of the whole cake, and the rest was for my family. So I had this huge home made delicious Cheesecake and I ate at least 1/2 of that cake. No joke.

My mom also made Creme brulee, so there were nights I was eating both at the same time. I was eating them for breakfast lunch and dinner. I was also making myself Grilled Cheeses every other meal. And all the snacking I did.

AND THE PLAY! I had the Drama play and because we were staying late to work on that I was eating lots of unhealthy foods. At the after party I went downstairs to get a snack(I was really really high so I was eating allllooott) Marcus's(we were at his house for the party and I was supposed to sleep over) mother said "yes eat! Adrienne eat! you are too thin" then Mr. Krass(drama club director) said "yes she go very thin" Im like WTF?? all the adults were commenting on my weight!! UGH

TL;DR I ate alot of food. Super fat. Ewewew

I have a plan!

plan for tonight?
Get high. Eat food. Feel bad.