Things have Changed a Lot

Well, im in college and I love it. Smoke weed and do drug everyday. I did gain the freshmen 5, but im working on that. Theres so much shit thats happened to me here that I cant write everything. Ive made so many friends here but such bad things have happened at the same time. Friends trying to kill themselves, friends getting arrested and leaving school, friends being violent alcoholics and cutting themselves, loosing a very special pipe to the police, me going to the hospital for taking 22benadryl, having to pick up another friend from jail. The list is long. Yesterday was the worst.

it started Thursday, my friend and I went to Canada for the day and had an awesome time (I woke up at like 9am) saw Niagara Falls and stole some shit from gift shops, climbed over the railing next to the falls for a superman toy. Great time. When I got back home my friend asked me if I wanted to drop some Acid. I said hell yea. Popped it in my mouth and an hour latter I was laughing my fucking ass off, and I didnt stop for hours. It was great. I stayed up all night on chatroullette with my roommate brian. the next day I kept getting waves of acid feeling(that was cool) but long after it had worn off I couldnt look at people. All the worries about school, friends, myself just crashed on me. I couldnt get out of bed. I cried everytime someone knocked at my door. when my friend came down to ask me what was wrong i ran away in to the woods(theres a creek surrounded by woods next to my school where we all smoke weed and do drugs and have fires) i sat there for a good hour or two bawling my eyes out trying to think of what to do. Kill myself? cant do that. Im to much of a pussy for it. cut myself a little? no. Im smarter than that. My only option was to get help. I told the school counclers I was suicidal and were going to try and give me partial medical leave so this semester wont be a total fuck up. Ugh. after that my friends forced me to eat. at that point I still hadnt eaten in over 24hrs and I was really proud of that. when I got in the shower I was seeing the diffrence the past week or so of me eating alot less has worked. i dont know Im going to be on here a bit more I hope while I work on myself.