Over the Lips and Through the Gums..

Watch out stomach, cause nothing comes ;]

Driving lesson today was alot of fun, I drove all around my county and even learned to parallel park! And you know what I didnt do the entire time? Eat. Havent eaten anything so far today. Although I did have a victory can of Arizona Green Tea for not crashing the car! Im not sure whats for dinner just yet. My mom went shopping today and got me lots of Iced Tea and Diet Pepsi.Except while she was out she also picked up a box of the most dreadful, vile, calorie filled, sugary things ever. She got me a box...of Girl Scout Somoas.  I already ate one. But thats my limit. One a day. The serving size is 2cookies at 140 calories. That means one is 70calories. So one a day is safe.

So whats weed like? hmmm...its hard to describe really....Its a little different for everyone...Physically, you calm down, eyelids are a little heavy, and you just want to sit there and enjoy the fun thats happening in your head. Your mind will wander to places you couldnt imagine, not bad places(usually) but fun, happy, places, where you figure out the meaning of life and yourself and you giggle the entire way through. Everything feels awesome. Everything sounds awesome. Everything tastes awesome. Everything is awesome. lol I love weed. Smoking dosent bother me, I dont plan on smoking cigarettes for the rest of my life. I think this is just a teenage thing. Hopefully weed isnt just a teenage thing for me though, its a real good thing.

Workout Motherfucker

Today. Today. Today was pretty damn good. Once again, cigarettes, weed, driving. It was so nice to drive around with my best friend, windows down, weather warm, cigarette lit. Nothing like it and I cant wait till the summer when I can do that everyday!

So I wasnt as sore today as I was yesterday, I actually felt pretty good. I had gym again today and I spent a good hour lifting weights. I worked on my abs and my legs. Ive spent my night so far working on my abs and total today Ive done easily 100situps. Im going to keep working out as soon as my parents go to sleep.I needed something to watch that both inspired and entertained me, so I turned on The Biggest Looser and started watching while I work out. If youve never watched go on over to Hulu and check it out. Its always fun to watch fat people

Its going to be really tough to fall asleep tonight cause I'm basically out of weed :/ But I'm hoping that if I don't smoke I wont get the munchies. I found out today I weigh 107.0Lbs I'm hoping some of that is water weight cause Ive just been chugging liquids all day.Vitamin water, Arizona Green Tea, Water, and homemade Iced tea. Unfortunately I had to eat dinner. 2 small sausages, small salad, and 1stuffed shell. I really wish I hadn't ruined my day that way.

is anyone else fucking scared about the earthquake/tsunami in Japan, not so much the actual tsunami but the nuclear power plant? It will be worse then Chernobyl.

Everything. Everything Is Sore.

To much weight lifting. I strained my legs. I cant walk down stairs without immense pain. Or lift my arms without horrible pain. Or walk. Fuck. There arent enough pain relives in my house. Fuck.

I didnt eat much today. Grapefruit, 1/2 coffee, chicken, rice, onions, spinach, and an arizona iced tea. Oh and a lollipop. Im probably going to grab a snack later. Im so out of energy! OH what am I saying I had a great fucking day. Chess drove me home! It was so nice to be in the car with him again. but I know he doesnt want to date me again. Im going to keep talking to him though, it makes me happy...sortof :/ ugh. Such a bad mood.

I went to only 4classes today, theres 9 periods in my school day. Every other period my friend and I were driving around smoking weed and cigarettes and having a fucking good time. I really should be studing for math.

Im sorry my post are lame :/ or have been latley. I just really dont have any energy and Im pretty depressed. you guys will be the first to know when I feel better. 

No Diet Pepsi, No Cigarettes, Thank God I Have Weed

 Today is Fat Tuesday BTW!

I had a total meltdown yesterday, I almost gorged myself but then managed not to go overboard. :[ Im ashamed of myself though. I let my parents get me so emotional I cut myself. Ugh. It hurts. Its been years since I last cut/burnt myself. Damn.

Im out of diet Pepsi D: I ended up having 2sips of regular Coke, that stuff is so damn sweet and thick like syrup it just makes me sick. Had one cigarette today, Im trying to cut down before I turn 18, because as soon as that happens Ill be smoking a pack a day. And either will have kicked the habit by then(doubt that though) or I will have cut down to one a day and my lungs wont be so filled with phlegm(ew) I also ate a cup of grape fruit, 1/2 meatloaf sandwich and 3 homemade stuffed shells. That seems like so much. EW.

They dont care about us II

My parents dont care about me or Gram. They dont love us. They just care how much we cost. Thats all they are concerned about. They have such conditional love that it kills me. They only love me when my room is clean. When I have good grades. When Im the daughter they can put on display. They are willy loman(failures) and if they loved me they wouldn't tell me Im a fuck up. Thee would know that yelling at me, telling me Im stupid, not getting into college, calling me a fuck up, scaring me, yelling at me wont work. If anything that will make me feel terrible about myself, and really not make me want to work. It will actually make me suicidal. and to top it all off I im sitting here bawling my eyes out trying to get the point across to you. Oh and I ruined a 4 year period in which I didn't intentionally cut myself. no I have "if they cared" carved into my leg. they arent even mad at me over something vital. theyre mad at me because Im doing badly in government class.

I cant finish this post im sorry