My parents dont care about me or Gram. They dont love us. They just care how much we cost. Thats all they are concerned about. They have such conditional love that it kills me. They only love me when my room is clean. When I have good grades. When Im the daughter they can put on display. They are willy loman(failures) and if they loved me they wouldn't tell me Im a fuck up. Thee would know that yelling at me, telling me Im stupid, not getting into college, calling me a fuck up, scaring me, yelling at me wont work. If anything that will make me feel terrible about myself, and really not make me want to work. It will actually make me suicidal. and to top it all off I im sitting here bawling my eyes out trying to get the point across to you. Oh and I ruined a 4 year period in which I didn't intentionally cut myself. no I have "if they cared" carved into my leg. they arent even mad at me over something vital. theyre mad at me because Im doing badly in government class.
I cant finish this post im sorry
We will always be here for you. We will always support you. You never need to feel ashamed on here or worry about what we think about you. Be safe, be strong darling girl. :)
ReplyDeleteI want to grab you and pick you up from the crying position on the floor and tie you together with ribbons and hugs. I know it might seem fleeting to say we are here for you when we are on the internet, but if you ever needed it or wanted it, I would write you letters, add you to facebook, I could be the result of some crazy penpal scheme at school... we really are here for you you know. It is so important for you to see because there are people on this community that mean the world to me in 'real' life now too. We care for you, we hate to see you hurt, but we are there for you whether you are sad or whether you are over-the-moon happy. xxx
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