Still Reeling

I checked again today...still 100.5! Honestly I dont want to loose anymore weight, its not that Im skinny enough, I can always be skinnier! The truth is there is a point where people can tell how we got to be so damn skinny. When we weigh 99.0 lbs everyone can tell that we havent eaten in 2days, theres no other explanation at that point. I would love to weigh 99.0Lbs. That would really be the low-fat icing on the Jenny Craig low calorie cake! lol But weighing 99Lbs isnt worth the inevitable drama that would come with it. I would rather weigh 100.0lbs and be free to do whatever the fuck I want, rather then weigh 99.0lbs and have to visit doctors, be watched constantly, forced to eat, and all the emotional drama that would really do damage to me. Im skinny now. I know I am.

I know how shocking this must sound. A pro-ana person saying shes skinny enough?  Well yes. For now any way. Under the watchful eye of my parents this is as skinny as I can be without attracting negative attention. I could keep going, but Id rather wait till college when Im not being watched.

One more thing :] Im proof darlings. Proof that youll get there too. Its not impossible. We can look like the models in magazines, we can be as skinny as we want, and the people who say its not possible are the people who just didnt try fucking hard enough!

<33 I love you all and I promise to be back tomorrow!

Thats its girls Ive made it!

Im so sorry Ive been gone so long I havent forgotten about you Ive just been so wrapped up in other things like school, college, internships, Chess, and all sorts of stuff. First off I got into Buffalo State college! And SUNY Purchase! Im so proud of myself that I actually made it into college!!

Second. Now heres the big news. Get ready. This morning I weighed myself, expecting it to be close to 110.0lbs since I feel like Ive been eating so much food lately. I got on the scale, the numbers started rolling around, and then they stopped and I opened up my eyes, looked down, and looked at the scale in disbelief. 100.5lbs. 100.5Lbs. I had to check it different times. Then I went and checked a different scale, it said the same thing. Im 100.5lbs. so damn happy I cant even..

<333stay skinny girls

104.0Lbs!!!

Guess who just weighed herself at 104.0lbs? Meee!!! Im so happy that Im just one pound away from reaching my goal weight!

I had my 5hr course for driving yesterday which meant I had an excuse not to eat lunch! When that was over my mom picked me up and we went and did some driving practice until it was dinner. We went and picked up some sushi and dumplings for dinner. I only ate 1roll or sushi, and a few fried pork dumplings. Yum they were so delicious!

Todays been great so far, I had some Chicken Tika Masala and Rice for breakfast. Im hoping that my mom and I will go up to Woodstock later maybe grab some coffee and pick up her artwork from a gallery. Its going to be a beautiful day so Im super pumped!

Im in such a good mood! I figured out something, my ADHD medication keeps me calm. Every night I go crazy somehow. I get really upset sometimes, not bipolar but I think a lot less clearly and logically when my meds wear off. I mean I already knew that, what I figured out was, If I take half my meds in the AM then about halfway through the day I take the other half Ill be calm all day and wont freak out at night. Ill be able to control my appetite 24/7 and Ill be a lot more pleasant!

Think thin!!
Thank you for all your kind words about my artwork :]

Shamrock Shake!!

I only ate 1/2 a small shamrock shake today. That was it. That and some Arizona iced teas to keep me going :]. I almost ruined it tonight when I went to work with Chess, he was going to order me some of the highest calorie foods for dinner (hes a chinese food delivery boy so he gets a great discount) and I just kept telling him no, I dont want food!! He finally caved and didnt buy me food. I feel terrible though. It might be caffeine withdrawal...got I hope it is. I dont like being depressed.

I had gym today and did some fucking intense workouts on my abs. They will probably be sore tomorrow :] Ah its a good day when everything is sore!

GET THIS lol I asked my friend to purchase me marb. reds(cigarettes) and a green lighter. She returns with regular reds(I smoke 100's which are long) and a fucking crack lighter.Gah I was fuming.

Wow! thanks for all your nice words on my art :] it really means alot to me! Alice in Waterland is my concentration for AP art. Its done in Watercolors and ink. <33

sorry for the short post!! <33 thin dreams

Meat Pie

When I was little I lived in Australia. One of my favorite memories was eating meat pies. Its exactly what it sounds like. Theyre meat with spices etc. in a pie crust and its the tastiest thing ever. The way that I always got it was with mashed potatoes on top. Damn it was good. I ended up eating 3pretty small pieces for dinner and some mac and cheese.

Finally after a long 3 days I got back to gym and had a good long workout. I asked Chess for some weights(I had given him some free weights last year) just 15 pounds to do some exercise at home. I really want to get back into gym and work on my legs and ass more.

Guess who made $60 on her first piece of art work sold? I made This. Obviously Im going to blow all my money on cigarettes and weed ;] not on food!

Thin Dreams <33